


Thoughtful And Overthinking

by mansikka



Series: Filling In The Gaps [16]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Episode Tag, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-14 16:50:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14140308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansikka/pseuds/mansikka
Summary: Filler-y stuff for How Are Thou Fallen





	1. Magnus

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :) I have taken more liberties with the time scale for the show to fit this in, and moved things around a little bit to make it work.

Their hands are full of bags as they step through the portal into his apartment, and as they deposit those bags on various pieces of furniture, Magnus thinks he's pleased to be home. Alec's out of nowhere curiosity about why fatty tuna is called fatty tuna is just the latest in a series of curious things that have fallen from his mouth, and Magnus is thoroughly enchanted by them all.

Alec, when he's totally at ease with himself, is like an entirely different person to the one Magnus first met. Since they've agreed that they would try to be together, everything about him has become more relaxed. There's softness in his voice, no hesitance when he reaches for him, and about a hundred questions ready on the tip of his tongue, for just about every possible subject.

And Alec's affection is getting easier, holding Magnus' hand when they walk new streets together, leaning in to kiss him in thanks when they've finished dinner in a restaurant, or any other reason he finds to touch him. Alec was even the one to initiate their kiss on the terrace of the Palace Hotel, Magnus thinks, carefully replaying the moment and sure he's going to do the same countless more times.

"You know, as much as I love Tokyo, and Prague, a bacon burger from the East Village isn't that bad," Alec says then. He's referring to the surprise lunch Magnus had taken him for, after Alec's messages complaining of all the unreasonable tasks Aldertree had assigned him a couple of days ago, and Magnus had wanted to put him in a better mood.

Alec had stepped out of the church with curiosity on his face for Magnus' brief message of,  _come outside for a moment_ , his eyes lighting up in delight as he'd hurried down the steps to greet him. Magnus thinks he might forever smile at the shy way he'd looked around them before leaning in to kiss him quickly, then snagged his fingers the moment they were a few paces away from the Institute. 

"The world is your oyster, Alexander," Magnus replies still smiling at the memory, turning to throw his jacket on a couch.

"I got you something."

Magnus turns back in surprise to find Alec looking a little hesitant, maybe even a little shy. "Me?"

"Yes, you," Alec says, holding out a small black bag. "Open it."

Magnus just about notices that Alec turns immediately away again as though he's worried about if he'll like it or not, but Magnus is still trying to get his head around the idea of receiving a gift. The bright red omamori is beautiful, and delicate in his hands, and Magnus gets the strangest sense of comfort from it, already planning on carrying it with him when he's not at home.

Alec turns back to him. "It's supposed to bring you luck, and protection."

It's not only a _gift_ , but a thoughtful one, and Magnus is a little lost for words.

"Thank you, Alexander," he replies, stepping closer to him. "You continue to surprise me."

"In good ways, I hope," Alec says, his eyes repeatedly falling to his lips in insinuation, and who would Magnus be to turn down the opportunity for a kiss?

 _Giggling_ from somewhere in the apartment interrupts them, and Magnus barely holds back a groan, both of them sighing in frustration for it. They must be loud, Jace and whoever his latest _guest_ is; these walls are thick, and purposely soundproofed since Jace arrived. He's probably left a door open, Magnus thinks, a little irate for the audacity of the way Jace has been treating his apartment.

"I haven't had a roommate this brazen since… Well. Since Casanova and I spent the night at the Doge's Palace," Magnus says, smiling at the memory of a really good evening. Though it's interrupted by Alec's incredulous, _Casanova_?

Magnus turns back around ready to answer awkward questions, but Alec's already waving a hand in dismissal.

"I'll talk to Jace. He can't stay here forever."

 _No, he can't_ , Magnus thinks, but now isn't the time to be asking him to be leaving. "No, no," he says, stopping Alec from going by a gentle press to his stomach with the back of his hand. "Nothing a little music can't fix."

A simple snap of his fingers and Jace and his _guest_ are drowned out. "All good?"

Alec smiles and nods, and they look at each other for another few seconds before Magnus gestures towards the balcony.

"Do you have time for a drink before you go?" Magnus asks, knowing Alec has to go back to the Institute soon. He's mentioned a report he needs to file that he wants to read over before the end of the day, and Magnus knows it's silly, but is secretly pleased that Alec would postpone a work thing to spend some time with  _him_.

"Yes," Alec replies, smiling at the glass suddenly appearing in his hand.

They sink down onto the small couch and both let out a soft sigh, clinking their glasses together and taking a sip of their wine before settling back.

"Thank you for today," Alec says, "tonight, even. I'm not really sure of the time—"

"You're welcome. Always," Magnus replies, and he's not being facetious. There's something exciting about taking Alec to new places, seeing the things he already knows through new eyes.

Alec takes another sip of his wine and gestures for Magnus to do the same, before taking both their glasses to push to one side, and slinging his arm along the edge of the couch behind Magnus' back, turning before he leans in for a kiss.

Even Alec's kisses are more confident, taking his time to explore his mouth; even if he does hold back a little more than Magnus has already become used to for the reminder that Jace is only just out of sight. Magnus is holding back because of that too, keeping his hands to himself. Though the way Alec is beginning to lean into him makes Magnus want to invite him to stay longer, lock Jace in his room so he can't disturb them, perhaps curl up with Alec here on the couch.

An alert on Alec's phone pulls them apart, and Magnus absently traces over the slight swell of his lips from Alec's kisses, groaning internally at his, _damn it_ , and knowing the source of it without even having to ask.

"I need to go," Alec says, looking full of disappointment even if that was an inevitability tonight anyway.

"Go do your job, Shadowhunter," Magnus replies, "I'm not going anywhere."

It's a sort of invitation; the last couple of evenings since Alec's been finding reasons to be in Magnus' apartment to kiss him goodnight. Magnus tells himself not to be greedy for it knowing that there'll be evenings when such things aren't possible, but he looks forward to the possibility of it anyway.

Alec smiles at him, looks away, has to look again, before muttering an, _alright_ , and standing. Magnus watches him begin to walk towards the room Jace is staying in, and tries not to be disappointed that he couldn't keep Alec a little longer this evening.

* * *

"He's not going."

Magnus looks up from reading a message from Catarina to find Alec storming towards him with a scowl on his face. "Jace?"

"I don't know what's wrong with him," Alec sighs in frustration. "Aldertree's an ass, but it's not like Jace to just give in so easily."

Magnus knows this has more to do with the situation with Clary than anything Aldertree might have done to Jace, but doesn't think it's his place to tell him. "I'm sure he'll come around."

"Yeah," Alec says, sighing, "while in the meantime, he doesn't show up when we have things to do at the Institute, and sits around here all day treating your apartment like it's his."

Magnus raises his hands in a half-shrug, since he can't argue with that, and gestures for Alec to pull him to his feet. "I just asked Kaelie to leave."

"The Seelie that was just in his room?" Alec asks with his voice raising in incredulity, gesturing towards Jace's room.

"Yes," Magnus replies, thinking of the string of women Jace has brought to his apartment, Seelies and Mundanes alike. "I think he's... distracting himself."

"Yeah, well, it's unfair to be using other people to do that with," Alec retorts.

"It is. But he's—"

"I'm sorry, Magnus," Alec sighs, closing the gap between them and wrapping him up in a hug. "I'm sorry he's taking over your home like this. I'll talk to him."

"I'll talk to him," Magnus replies, resting his hands against Alec's chest and leaning in to kiss him. Alec sighs against him, and wraps his arms a little tighter.

"I wish I could stay longer," he says, dropping their foreheads together.

"Me too," Magnus replies, because there's no point hiding it.

"But I'll see you soon?"

Magnus smiles at the question in his voice and leans in to kiss him again. "You will."


	2. Alec

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :) flashback scenes from 2x18 are put here, but only briefly; I have an entire other series for first times between Magnus and Alec, so I haven't gone into a lot of detail here.

Izzy's wrong. He doesn't overthink things at all, he just goes over each of his options carefully before he can work out which decision is _right_.

Alec glares at himself in the mirror of his bedroom a final time then charges out of the Institute before anyone can stop him—or any other thoughts can creep in to change his mind.

 _Who am I kidding_ , Alec groans to himself on the way over to Magnus', he _does_ overthink things. He overthinks  _everything_. Missions, conversations, choices; just about everything. Including the reason he's headed to Magnus' now.

He _wants_ Magnus. Alec thinks he's wanted Magnus for quite some time now, has gotten lost in the thought of _being_ with Magnus numerous times, including those he should have been concentrating on other things. And the kisses between them are becoming longer, and more involved, that need he feels in him deepening every time they get closer.

Alec's fairly sure Magnus wants him just as much, is sure he's felt that same urgency in him when they've been together. Alec thinks they should probably talk about it, but then thinks if he talks about it too much he'll panic and do something stupid like run from Magnus.

So he's going to do this. He's going to go to Magnus' and he's going to kiss him so he _knows_ what he's thinking. And then he's going to hope that Magnus is willing to lock them away in his bedroom, because the thought of Jace being down the hall when _that's_ happening for the first time—

Alec comes to a stop, forces a few hard breaths from his lungs and continues on his way to Magnus'.

* * *

"Hey."

At least Magnus looks pleased to see him, Alec thinks, storming into the apartment and immediately hanging up his jacket. Though Magnus has always seemed pretty pleased to see him, so that is not much to go on.

"Is Jace here?" Alec checks, needing to know that crucial piece of information before he does anything else.

"No. He left hours ago," Magnus says. "Are you okay?"

Alec launches himself at Magnus before he can lose his nerve, cupping his face and kissing him as he begins to walk them backward.

Magnus smiles and laughs against him, grabbing hold of his upper arms and gently nudging him back. "Hey, what's this all about? I mean, I'm not complaining, but—"

"I… I just thought… you know. I thought we could take the next step."

Magnus' expression is not _quite_ as enthusiastic as Alec would have hoped for. "The sex step," he says, as he pats his arms.

"Yeah," Alec replies, faltering a little, because what if he's misread things between them and this isn't something that Magnus wants with him?

Magnus pats at him again, dropping his gaze. "Alexander. I may be experienced, but… It's rare that I've ever felt this way about someone, and… I worry that once we…"

Alec's stomach gives an uncomfortable clench for the way Magnus turns from him before he continues, as though he's scared of revealing what he's really thinking.

"That if we rush into this," Magnus continues, pausing again before turning back to him, "that I may lose you."

"What?" Alec laughs, relief hitting him hard for the realization that Magnus isn't rejecting him, is just as nervous as he is. "Why would you think that?"

Magnus seems small, and uncertain, and Alec aches to take the look away.

"Look," he says, "you're not the only one that feels vulnerable."

They haven't exactly used _that_ word between them in their conversations, but Alec knows he's opened up to Magnus in ways that would show him to be as such. And he doesn't want Magnus to feel vulnerable at all.

"Magnus," Alec says with relief coursing through him and making him brave, "you have nothing to worry about. I want this," he adds as he backs Magnus into his bedroom, already pulling at his shirt.

He's ungraceful, stumbling as he closes the door behind him, their kisses interspersed with giggles as he backs Magnus towards the bed.

Alec doesn't know what to do first. First he's pulling at Magnus' shirt, then trying to take off a boot, and Magnus is doing his best to keep him upright for it. And then he's yanking Alec's shirt up over his head, and Alec's heart flutters for the realization this is really happening, that Magnus really does want him just as much. He paws at Magnus' shirt again struck once more with the idea he doesn't know where to start, kicks off his second boot, then finds himself on his back with Magnus towering over him against the bed.

"That was graceful," Magnus teases.

Alec smiles, pointed at himself with a blast of, _Shadowhunter_ , and before Magnus can get out much more than an, _oh_ , he's reaching up to drag Magnus closer for a kiss. Magnus climbs to slot between his legs, his fingers curling around the nape of Alec's neck, and though Alec's heart is racing fast for what's about to happen, he's hit with a fresh burst of excitement for what he wants actually being about to happen.

He begins to pull Magnus' shirt up, struck with the need to feel his skin on his, cataloging every little sound that falls from Magnus' lips as he kisses him, starts to trust himself more than the nervousness still coursing through him. But out of nowhere, Magnus is pulling away, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling down his shirt.

Alec doesn't know what he's supposed to do. He props himself up a little on his elbows, hoping he's not about to be told to go.

"What? Did I do something wrong?" he asks, scared for the answer.

"No such thing."

Magnus is curled away from him, and Alec doesn't know if something has happened to him or he's trying to hide what he's thinking.

"Well… what, do you not want to?" he asks as he sits up a little more, still fearing the worst as Magnus is still facing away from him.

"No. I mean, yes. Of course I do," Magnus tells him, and there's an ache in his voice that Alec struggles to interpret. He leans forward a little hoping to see what's happening, sweeping his hand up to rest on his shoulder.

"Magnus, what is it?" he asks, sure he can feel the tension rippling through Magnus beneath his palm.

"It's just, sometimes…" Magnus begins to say, clearly having difficulty getting out his words, "I lose control."

Magnus hesitates again before he turns to him, and for a moment Alec doesn't understand. But then he realizes, is helplessly smiling, planning on taking the time to study the beautiful eyes blinking back at him; at least, some other time. What he needs to do now is reassure him.

"Magnus," he says, turning more towards him and raising his hand to cup his face, and now he's seen Magnus' eyes he can't tear his own away. "They're beautiful. _You're_ beautiful."

It isn't even an exaggeration, in fact it's probably an oversimplification if anything. Magnus blinks back at him, a sweet, relieved smile creeping up over his face as he reaches up to cover and squeeze Alec's hand.

* * *

Alec half-wishes he could take back his stupid joke about going to the Institute for the look of worry it's put on Magnus' face. But his only excuse is that it's early in the morning, and he's only just blinked himself awake, so his words are coming out before he's put much thought into them. In fact, Alec thinks he might still be sleeping; how else could he be waking up on soft gold sheets with his arm slung around Magnus, their clothes discarded over the floor?

Immediately, Alec's mind is filled with images of how they spent the evening together, and he thinks today it's going to be impossible for people not to  _notice_ something is different for him, for the way he doesn't think he'll be able to stop smiling.

Alec thinks of his question again and decides questions like that are too much for any time of the day, especially this early in the morning. So when Alec takes Magnus' hand he promises himself to keep his words more simple, and light. Though he's still elated, and proud for the thought that Magnus opened his heart for _him_ of all people.

"Maybe… maybe we could have those waffles," Alec suggests, pleased that when he looks it's to catch Magnus' smile.

"Of course."

"Not yet though," Alec says, taking a breath and then rolling towards him, in fact continuing to move until he's half-draped over Magnus pinning him to the bed.

"No?" Magnus asks, still the tiniest amount of doubt in his voice.

"No," Alec agrees, leaning down to kiss him, smiling as Magnus pulls the cover back enough so that there's nothing between them, and settles down with a soft sigh for the feel of them bared to one another.


End file.
